Saudade (Portuguese)

'The Love that remains'; a feeling of longing, melancholy, or nostalgia that is supposedly characteristic of the Portuguese temperament.

I sometimes feel... Saudade.

Saudade of people, things, places, moments, feelings...

A few days ago, I recovered a vinyl player that was gifted to me a few years ago, and that I left unused until yesterday. I always thought that vinyl records were cool and had always planned to have a little collection when I got my own space.

But the vinyl player brought me more than just joy.

It brought back memories of my childhood.

Of sunny afternoons.

Of photographs of young me rocking the big old headphones that were used back in the early '90s.

Of my parents' vinyl and VHS collections, that included 'The Neverending Story', Kaoma's 'Lambada', and Technotronic's 'Pump up the Jam'.

The street and house I grew up in. Of an Etch A Sketch. Of playing with marbles.

It made me smile, and think of how everything and everyone has changed so much over the years.

Sometimes, I wish I could go back and change some things. But if I did, I probably wouldn't be the person that I am today together with my experiences and lessons learned.

So today, I am grateful.

For the memories, people, things, places, moments, and feelings that have made me.

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