Sometimes you have a meltdown… a mini meltdown… a meltdown akin to an ice cream melting, not the polar ice cap.
Sometimes you feel anxious, helpless, overwhelmed, like nothing is going the way you want it to.
Sometimes you just need to sit down and cry… and that’s ok.
Sometimes we put way too much pressure on ourselves.
I had one today.
I felt sad. Overwhelmed. Anxious. Stressed. Like it was all a bit too much.
My wife asked me a simple question… ‘how are you doing?’ and I reacted. That such a simple and reasonable question could have such an extreme response surprised even me. It told me that I felt trapped by all the pressures I had put on myself. All the things I had told myself I needed to do. All of those things that I told myself I should do. When in reality I didn’t need to. I shouldn’t have put all of that pressure on myself, I had told myself that all of these things were important and that they needed to be done urgently.
So I cried.
I had a good cry.
In between sobs and sniffs I told the world (via my wife) exactly what I thought of it. I was able describe what I felt and why it was making me feel rubbish. It appeared as a list of things which, altogether made me feel like I had the responsibility of my world on my shoulders.
To say it aloud helped.
Why does saying it aloud help? It’s the same as writing a to-do list, it’s easier to deal with when you can see it.
It makes it more real. As humans we tend to overthink things. When we over think things it can appear as if it is a lot worse than it actually is.
Talking to someone will help you look at things from a different perspective, one that you may not have thought of yourself. It can simplify the monster growing your mind. That person could be a partner, a friend, or even a stranger.
There is a misconception that in order to be able to deal with everything in our lives we have to have that ‘perfect person’. But that is not always the case. A stranger, such as a life coach, can help you to deal with those mini meltdowns. After all, they are people too and will share some of the same life experiences.
If all else fails, in the meantime, here are some steps you can take to help, whenever life throws an ice cream at you (aside from eating said ice cream).
1. Embrace the mini-meltdown. Acknowledge it, admit to yourself that you are feeling overwhelmed. Have a good cry if you need to.
2. Accept it. Talk to someone or, if you prefer, write about it.
3.If you can/want to, go to that person that always supports you no matter what is going on in your life, and have a chat. By talking about it, you might actually start to look at it from a different perspective.
4. Make a list of all of those things which are contributing to the feeling of being overwhelmed, no matter how big or small and whether or not you can control them.
5. Prioritise. What is optional and what is not. What is important to you and what can wait. If necessary pick one thing and focus on achieving it/dealing with it.
6. Revisit that list whenever you feel necessary. Ask yourself what is really necessary. Do you need to replace one thing achieved or completed with another? Odds are, you don’t. At least not immediately. Can you cross some things off for good?
Just because you feel all of this pressure it does not mean you’ve failed. You haven’t failed because you feel this way.
Whenever you do achieve something remember to enjoy it. Embrace the sense of achievement, the feeling of accomplishment regardless of how small the task.